Why OH why is dessert so appealing to kids? Two simple reasons:
- It tastes good.
- We make it so!
The dessert battle happens in thousands of homes every night of the week.
“Just one more bite and you can have the custard.”
“If you don’t finish your veggies, there’s no dessert.”
“Look, Sam ate all his dinner tonight, so he’s got his ice cream already. For goodness’ sake, hurry up!”
Sound familiar?
If your child constantly refuses dinner but miraculously has room for dessert, then there’s a power play going on that you are bound to lose.
Why do kids want the dessert? Well, it tastes good doesn’t it? It’s familiar. It’s easy to like. It’s usually easy to eat too. Who wouldn’t they want it?
The problem that we as parents (and grandparents) create is giving dessert more power than it deserves. What we are really saying when we withhold dessert till all/enough dinner foods have been eaten is this: “You don’t get this delicious yummy dessert food till you’ve eaten this bad tasting/awful/unappealing/ “not as good as” dinner food.” In effect, you’ve just given dessert ALL the power.
So, how can you set all the foods served on a level playing field? If we’re teaching kids to have a healthy RELATIONSHIP with food, we want them to view all foods as equals. To enjoy the dinner just as much as they do dessert (or at least almost as much!). Here are a couple of options for you to consider.
NOTE: For both these options, dessert may be a sometimes food like ice cream or jelly, or it could be an everyday food which would provide better nutritional quality like a fruit, yoghurt, custard or a fruit crumble. I suggest you mix it up!
The second rule for each of these is: Serve a small portion. We don’t get seconds of dessert!
Option 1: Dessert WITH Dinner
Serve dessert AT THE SAME TIME as dinner. Kids served in this way will usually start by polishing off all the dessert first and then come back and pick at the dinner, maybe! Over time, the novelty wears off and they will go back and forth between dinner and dessert, maybe leaving dessert till the end. There are NO fights as dessert is already there. They can eat it WHENEVER they choose.
Option 2: Dessert night (or not)
Decide in advance whether it’s going to be a dessert night or not. Choose what the dessert will be and let everyone know. Finishing what’s been served at dinner or eating one more bite of the broccoli/bean/chicken/mashed potato (insert food here) is NOT a prerequisite for getting the dessert.
I find that matching a meal I know will be challenging for my child with a nourishing dessert takes the pressure off her and me. It allows her to explore the new dinner food without pressure whilst knowing she’s got the dessert to help fill her up.
Do you think one of these strategies would work for you and your child?
Eat happy!
Deb Blakley
Accredited Practising Dietitian & Director
