I am overjoyed when Miss 5 doesn’t eat everything on her plate. It’s not some kind of rebellion left over from being made to clean my plate as a child and it isn’t that I love waste either.
When my daughter leaves food on her plate, I know that she is listening to her sense of hunger and fullness. It’s this sense that will help her maintain a size that is right for her as she grows and develops. It’s also a sense that is easily lost when we push children to keep eating past the point of feeling full.
I want to introduce a concept that will hopefully make you breathe a sigh of relief at the next meal or snack time. In particular, parents with fussy eaters, now’s the time to listen up!
Who’s responsible?
Ellyn Satter’s model of eating competence relies on the foundation of the Division of Responsibility in feeding.
It is simply this:
Parents and carers decide what food is provided, when and where.
Children decide from the selection of food on offer, how much and indeed WHETHER to eat.
That’s it in a nutshell! Keeping to your role in the Division of Responsibility is key to being able to relax and let your little person explore new tastes. Let them sneak up on, explore, touch, taste and refuse food without pressure.
If you consistently use the Division of Responsibility, children will soon relax around food and ultimately it won’t always be peas and broccoli left over. My Miss 5 has more than once surprised me by eating half a chocolate frog or a few bites of a biscuit and then decide that’s enough. I’ve even once seen her stop mid-way through a lollypop!
My two top tips for less mealtime waste
Nobody likes to see wasted food, least of all if you are the one slaving away in the kitchen.
- Serve smaller portions and allow children to ask for more if they are hungry
- Help children to serve themselves, remembering that you still get to decide what foods are on offer
Learning from the past
I grew up in a time where it was not acceptable to leave food on your plate at dinner time. Why? My parents were simply passing on the rules that had been passed onto them. Go back two or more generations and the reason is clear. My grandparents and great grandparents lived through times of depression, food shortage and war. In their early years, NOT eating food when it was available may have had severe consequences for their health and not unlike today, it was seen as a great waste of money.
In contrast, we live in a time of (for most) food abundance with access to a dizzying choice of energy dense and nutrient poor foods while we move less and less. Put simply, parents of today need a different parenting style. Even now, it takes conscious thought for me to NOT eat everything on my dinner plate – not a behaviour that I wish to pass on to my daughter. Shelve the issue of waste – I’m happy to deal with a few more left overs. On the up-side, my worm farm and garden are most pleased!
Eat happy!
Deb Blakley
Accredited Practising Dietitian & Director
