I’m done with resolutions
It’s January and most of the world is well into resolution making mode.
We think the key to a better life is to make grand commitments to [get fit] [lose weight] [stop binge-watching Game of Thrones to catch up] … yeah that one may have crossed my mind.
Take a look at these New Year resolutions about family nutrition. Recognise any?
- We will “eat healthy”
- I will eat more veggies/ get my kids to eat more veggies
- I will cook more family dinners from scratch
- We will buy less take away food
- I will stop using sweets to reward the kids
- I will not use any packaged snacks in the kids’ lunchboxes this year
Our resolutions do tell us one thing though. They most often give us clues about what’s important to us, or what hasn’t been working so well.
Big lessons about heart and gut
I learned some BIG lessons in 2017 and one of them was that my heart and my gut (my intuition) usually leads me to where I really want to go, and that when I follow my intuition the ride is usually smoother and more enjoyable.
What if I told you that you already have everything that you need to move forward in 2018 in a positive way? It’s in you, and deep down you know that “should do’s” (aka resolutions) aren’t going to get you where you want to go. “Should do’s” never do, because they come layered with guilt.
In contrast, we can apply our gentle intuition to just about any goal or challenge we face, including decisions about how to feed our kids.
Regina’s story
Take the example of a recent client of mine, Regina (not her real name) who came to me for help to “improve her family’s nutrition” (her words). Regina spoke harshly of herself for all the “bad” food choices she’d been making in feeding herself and her family. She asked me for a meal plan to follow so she’d know what to do. She didn’t trust herself to make “good” food choices anymore. She was tired and burnt out from having meals rejected by her fussy eater and the pantry raided by her “all-day-grazer” kid. Regina had lost touch with her feeding intuition and nothing about it felt good anymore.
And I didn’t give her a meal plan.
Instead, we slowly started to pick apart the pieces that didn’t feel right to her when it came to feeding her family and nourishing herself.
As Regina reflected on the real reasons that had brought her to the appointment with me, she realised the one thing that was upsetting her the most was that she’d given up on sit-down family meals. She’d always believed that unless a meal was “home-cooked” or something she’d slaved for hours in the kitchen to prepare, then it wasn’t worthy of being called a “family meal”. She longed for her family to sit down each evening around the table and share a meal together. Instead they ate in fractured shifts, often in front of the TV where the chance for connection was lost.
As we talked, Regina’s intuition began to show her a path she wasn’t expecting. She decided to stop judging the food she was already serving. She began to honour the food she was already preparing and serving her family – ready-meals, frozen and easy bake foods and even take-aways. Slowly the regular sit-down meals she’d been longing for became more frequent.
And it made her feel GOOD.
As family meals became more ritual and routine, Regina began to intuitively make small nutritional tweaks to the meals and snacks she served that also felt GOOD.
Find what feels good to you
Regina took one first small step towards feeding her family in a way that felt RIGHT to her. She is a great reminder that when we continue to reflect on what feels good or not so good to us, the next tiny step becomes clearer.
And that always feels GOOD.
If you’re curious about tuning into your feeding (or other) intuition, this is a good place to start…
- Make a list of the things that don’t feel good to you right now. They’re usually the niggly thoughts and feelings that come back time and again.
- Pick out the #1 “Does Not Feel Good” thing on your list
- What would feel better? Is there one small thing you could do differently to make that happen?
- When you’re ready (and that may not be right away), take the first little step.
- Check in – Did that feel good?
- Repeat
Here’s to little steps and big dreams in 2018.
Eat Happy!
Deb Blakley
Accredited Practising Dietitian & Director