“Mum, I’m finished,” said each of my boys as they handed over these partially eaten bananas.
There are a number of ways one might respond to this… what would you say?
Some common responses might be:
- “Didn’t you like the banana?”
- “You opened the banana, please finish it.”
- “Why did you open that banana if you didn’t want it all!”
- “Now you have wasted food.”
- “Can you take one more bite?”
- “Big boys/girls eat all their fruit.”
- “How are you going to get big and strong if you don’t eat your fruit?!”
Often, children will have a go and eat some or all of the food offered to them. Children’s appetite can be quite effective at letting them know how much to eat. We might see them half-eat foods or even just leave one bite behind because their body manages to signal that that was enough and to stop eating. They have the ability to regulate and take as much or as little as their body needs – they can still listen…
With this in mind, the common responses above may be asking a child to ignore their body signals but listen to our requests instead. This may result in a range of meal time battles but also disrupt the child’s ability to listen, respond and trust their body’s signals. They might also feel discouraged from trying next time because they are asked to do something they are not comfortable doing…
The common responses above usually come from a good place – perhaps that’s how our parents did it and it seemed to work for them? Or we don’t want to waste food… or we want our kids to eat enough. Also, when kids repeatedly don’t do what we want them to, parental worry and frustration can come into the equation.
How can we respond instead?
Here are several options that are more neutral, giving children space to eat to their appetite and comfort – ready to learn.
- “You’re finished with the banana.”
- “Thank you.”
- “Let’s cut the ends off these and freeze them for our smoothies tomorrow.”
- “Let’s put these in the compost bin.”
What would you say?
Eat Happy!
Inés Astudillo
Accredited Practising Dietitian
