Mr 2 has had a serious case of the dinnertime wiggles for some time now.
He is one of those kids that would be perfectly happy running backwards and forwards to the dinner table, grabbing mouthfuls of food as he continues his play.
Sound familiar?
Mr 2 is firmly in toddler land which means that he has a growing sense of himself as his own person, and so pushing boundaries and making his own decisions which are really important to him. He also has the attention span of a flea, but in reality, needs rules to help him feel secure.
Now is the time to establish a few ground rules and set the foundations. No one likes butting heads with a toddler but trust me, the older they get the harder it is to set boundaries.
First job is to reframe WHY you want your child at the table. You may be surprised to hear that it isn’t to “get them to eat” (that is their job not yours). The main goal should be to get them to sit at the table long enough to eat as much as they are hungry for. Ha! Easier said than done right??
IMPORTANT NOTE from the KDF TEAM: We understand that “sitting at the table” can be really challenging for some children with disabilities, kids with sensory processing challenges and neurodiverse children. If this is the case for your child, we’d like you to think of “sitting at the table” as anywhere you may be where you sit, facing each other, sharing the same food.
Okay now the fun stuff…how do we do it?
EAT WITH THEM: I can’t emphasise enough how important this is. It doesn’t have to be every meal but the more you do this, the bigger the benefits. Children literally learn to eat by watching you.
LET THEM GET HUNGRY: (but not too much!): Aim to limit snacking or grazing between meals. A toddler that isn’t actually hungry will be totally uninterested in spending time at the table eating his dinner.
ROUTINE: Just as bed tells the brain you are about to sleep, a simple routine such as washing hands and helping to set the table gets children into the right mindset.
GIVE THEM JOBS: Even very young children can help to serve themselves. Older children can butter their own bread or perhaps grate some cheese. Feeling part of the family meal is important here.
CHECK SEATING: Can your child reach the table easily? Check the seat is at the right height (and stable) and that there is some kind of footrest, so their knees are bent at 90 degree angles. Feeling unstable is a major cause of poor behavior at the table. This will distract them from their job of eating.
CHECK DISTRACTIONS: Is there a TV program the kids want to get back to? Toys at the table? Try to eliminate distractions so that children can focus on eating.
CHECK YOUR EXPECTATIONS: Most children have generally finished eating in around 5-10 minutes. Forcing them to sit longer can create negative feelings and resistance around mealtimes.
BAN BRIBES, REWARDS AND PRESSURE: At best, these only work for a short time and at worst they damage the feeding relationship making children even less reluctant to even come to mealtimes. Don’t bother.
REMIND AND BE CONSISTENT: I give Mr 2 one break to leave the table. He runs around for a couple of minutes then gets back up, sometimes eats a bit more and then leaves for good. Often he tries to grab food and run away but we say “we eat food at the table”. He gets asked if he has finished eating and then his plate is removed. If your child is used to continually leaving and coming back, establishing some rules around this WILL result in some kind of resistance. Hold firm! Remove the meal, remind them that the family rules are that we all eat at the table. If necessary, you can bring the next meal earlier. Often, he tries to grab food and run away but we remind him “we eat food at the table” – this had to be repeated over and over for a while. Be patient, be consistent and be kind – remember toddlers are still learning!
Remember, children make many mistakes with their eating and it is our job to guide them through this learning. Setting rules and limits is essential to this process.
If you have a wiggly one too, try these tips out! Don’t expect them to work straight away, it takes a while. Perhaps just pick one or two to address first.
Eat Happy!
Bonnie Searle
Accredited Practising Dietitian
